IMPERFECT ME 9

Episode 9
Leah saw Richard off, she knew she was messing with fire but the guy was charming and funny and very caring. He had her time and well he is not economical with compliments, he likes her and well she was liking him back. He had come to check on her since she was unable to go to the office due to her health, well she did not want Michael’s trouble, she switched off her phone so she will not get any disturbance, she will apologize for missing his birthday, she was sure Rachael and others will be there so her presence will not be felt. Something in her mind felt the sting of jealousy again at the thought of having Rachael around him, it was too late and she really was not up for any outing, she would have gone to his house but that will be probably the next day.
Richard was not so into the church thing like Michael is, well she was beginning to reconsider being a pastor’s wife, she was not fit, he would not have her time, he will be running about doing ministry and she has needs that need to be fulfilled. It has not been easy pretending to be a virgin. She had to lie to him about that too, yes she told him she had past relationship but well church folks hate to hear the truth, if they hear it, they tag you a sinner so let’s keep fooling ourselves.
Richard had been making passes at her and if not for the fact that she knew her health issues plus she can’t risk being so foolish anymore she would have let him. Father you know it’s not easy, forgive me please but if Richard keeps going this way, how do I resist this temptation?
She reached out for her phone and turned it on and his messages flooded her phone. She will have to think up something to do to get on his good side, he was asking too many questions lately so she picks fight always so as to not answer them. She can’t be discovered, not now, not ever.
“Michael, I am sorry but I really won’t let you go. Richard won’t make a good husband, but you will and so I can bear to cry in your house than outside it.” She soliloquized.

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The last three month has been the worst time of her life. She swore not to sing again since her melodious voice has ruined her. Things happen and you think you could never be a victim until you find yourself in it struggling for a way out.
Rachael bit her pillow hard to stop the noise of her cries. She was able to finally secure a pregnancy kit, she needed to be sure it was not true. What was supposed to be a comforting hug led to something she really was not ready for, actually they were not ready for it but it happened a minute too late before she succeeded in pushing him away. She had cursed and cried, she felt used and soiled, she was mad at herself for being so stupid. That was the day she had the last civil conversation with Michael, she could not even stand to look at him, he cried and begged that he was sorry and she should not tell anyone.
“Rachael please forgive me, I was carried away, you know we can’t tell anyone this right? I promise not to touch you anymore, please, just please let’s keep this to ourselves and ask God to forgive us.” He said on his knees with fat tears in her eyes. She tried to protest but she was not sure who to tell or how to say it, who would believe if she said it was a mistake?
She felt if she prayed and confessed her sin to God, she will be forgiven and life will go on as usual but no, she turned out being pregnant. Nature is so cruel, how could she be pregnant after just one attempt at the sex thing which was not as pleasurable as she had been made to believe, and Oh God! with Michael of all men, how will Leah take this, how will her parent who were looking forward to having a grand wedding for their only child feel, how would the choir members feel, how would her pastor take her after trusting her with many responsibilities.
God how do I handle this, I said I was sorry now? Why did you let me get pregnant huh! I did not plan it like this, now Michael is avoiding me and Leah seem to be behaving herself now, so where does that leave me. Confessing this will affect everything. Michael won’t be ordained as planned but will it not be a huge sin to hide this thing? I am just so confused. She thought as she stood up to look at herself in the mirror. She saw the little baby bump which she has succeeded in hiding so far though a lot of people has noticed she gained weight but no one could ever imagine she was pregnant. But how long would I hide this, pregnancy need no announcer. She needed to see Michael and he would not stop her from confessing this sin. I will rather suffer reproach than die in silence.
QUESTION
Is it wickedness to want to hold on to someone even when you know your disloyalty will hurt them?
If you were Rachael in this story, what will you do? Report and be laughed at or do it the way “the system” approves?
LESSON
Don’t cry over spilled milk.
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