IMPERFECT ME 16

EPISODE 16

Michael was in no hurry to go home from work. He was not in the mood for any of her talks, he just wanted his peace and quiet but he was not sure if such things exist anymore.
“Boss are you not going home, the security want to lock the facility?” A junior colleague asked.
“Oh really, I was actually getting set to leave too. It’s been a long day.” He said getting up pretending he has been working all day.
He bade his colleague good night and well only that it was not night it was just about few minutes to seven, he drove lazily taking his time hoping to pass time on the way home. He saw some fruit sellers and decided to stop by to buy some, peradventure his wife decides she was too tired to cook. Well he was trying not to be judgmental but they have had a very rough start which he had no idea on how to fix it, she was making life difficult for him and it’s just too early to start reporting cases to anybody.
He used his key to open the door and the aroma in the house were assaulting his senses. He came in gently and he did not see her around. He walked toward his room through the dinning and saw the table set. He started to suspect that there was a foul play. If things were not different, he knew the old Rachael was capable of this but not the new person he has come to know, whatever it is that has happened must be questioned.
“Hey you are back. I was beginning to get worried about your not being home since, I thought something had happened.” She said and collected his bag and suit. He was too stunned to say anything.
“You should go and shower first, you must be very tired and then come back and eat your food.” She said walking towards his room when he found his voice.
“Em…Rachael thank you, I think I can take it from here. Thanks for the food too. You must have out done yourself, please go and rest now I can handle the rest.”
“But I was just trying to…”
“Sure and I said thank you didn’t I? You should go now okay?” He said and left her confused.
“Did I say or do anything wrong?” She asked silently and walked to her room sad. Michael had to turn to be sure it was her, he felt bad for talking to her that way but he did not trust that her being nice will last. He was just trying to be careful.  
“He’s just surprised that’s why, I will not give up now.” She said dabbing the tears from her eyes.
She did not know how much reconciling with him meant to her until that time, she missed her friend, the fact that you have someone that understands or even when he does not understand is always available to listen. She had done as her mum advised, she looked back and tried to remember the good days when all was still well. It felt like a million years back but the more she remembered the more she knew she was missing, where was that Michael, they were not the same people they used to be back then that is why they need to be on a page but how does she go about that when he is now acting up.
“I will make this work.” She said with determination that gave her fresh energy, she was looking forward to the morning already though they were yet to sleep.

Michael woke up with a throbbing head, he had a fitful sleep fighting with himself, a part of him wanted to believe Rachael and the egoistic part of him believed otherwise. He got up lazily and she was at it again. He thanked God he had not rejected the dinner she prepared last night. He even suspected if she put love portion in it but well, turns out she is a good cook that’s all.
The aroma of fried eggs filled his room, his stomach growled and he had no intention of eating her food this morning, if he keeps eating her food, that will be taking them to the next level and he was not sure he could handle what the next level will be- whatever that next level is was not his business to know now.
He observed his devotion, trying to shut out his sense of smell and concentrate but it turns out that he will need to shut his ears too. There is no way you are falling for that again Michael. He thought. He had almost forgotten she sings that good, well that’s because all she’s done was to nag and misunderstand him but Rachael is something, Really and she does not know it.
He read through the devotional all the while his ears kept straining to hear her voice, she must be having a busy morning. This was what he used to imagine a marriage with her to be not what’s obtainable now but where your home feels like heaven on earth. God why can’t I have that huh? Everything didn’t start right, nothing is as they should be. Lord you’ve got to help me. You really need to help me. He prayed and dragged himself to take a quick shower.
“Good…good morning de…sir, hope you had a good night sleep.” Rachael asked as she saw him.
“What?!”
“I said hope your night was great?” She asked as if it’s a normal thing for her to do every morning. He looked at her again and she wiped sweat from her forehead. He felt like beating himself.
“Have they not told you that pregnant women should not be doing hard work? You should be careful, you are carrying my child and I can’t afford for anything to go wrong.” He queried. Rachael opened her mouth to answer as usual but he was shocked that she sucked back the words, drew a long breath and nodded. She sniffed and dabbed her eyes with her fingers and still managed to smile.
“Breakfast is ready and I …thanks but I am not eating.” He quickly said and the look in her eyes was that of hurt and disappointment.
“I…I am fasting.” He said to redeem himself but of course she knew him better than to belief that lie.
“Okay then, I will pack it in a warmer for you to eat as lunch.”
“I said I am fasting.” He repeated.
“I know but please don’t say no, I…I (she swallowed hard before she continued, she did not want him assuming she was looking for his sympathy). Please Michael, I put in so much effort to make you breakfast, I can’t eat it all at home, I don’t care what you do with it, please just go with it.” She begged and went to the kitchen without waiting to hear his reply.
“Thanks.” He said as he collected the food. He was too shocked at her behavior and he started to feel like a brute for making light of her efforts. Lord I am sorry I lied about the fasting thing, Rachael is not making this stubbornness work but what if I give in and end up in trouble like the first time huh? He thought as he drove to the office.

They had fallen into a routine as the weeks turned into months, she was getting heavier by the day and she was too ashamed to be going out and is starting to have great difficulties walking.
Michael had resolved to be civil with her, he was her husband and wives are supposed to take care of their husbands, the fact that she cooks his meal does not mean anything great, it’s part of what he was forced to pay for. At least that was his way of dulling the ache he feels whenever he refuses to reciprocate her actions.
He was particularly depressed because the ordination that was meant to be with him inclusive will happen but he was very out. Though he was almost forgetting why they ended up together instead of Leah, but this was a reminder of the fact that as part of the church’s way of disciplining him, he would have to step back and put his life together. You can’t lead God’s people when you are in a total mess, that was not to say you have to be perfect but some things needs to be handled with sense. He was asked to put his house together and it’s been months now and all he sees is management, maybe when the child is born, he would finally get  a companion, some days are better than some, when she is not cranky and depressed, she is overly nice and suspicious. The fact that they sleep in separate rooms is eating him up but how do you tell a woman who you have convinced you don’t care about that you want her in your bed. He did not know how long it’s going to take but then he needed help and he does not know who to confide in.

Rachael was curled up in the chair writhing in pains, she had read stuff about false labor and this did not seem false only that she was just six months gone, that will make it a bit too early for delivery. She groaned and was too tired to do any work let alone cook. The pains has been there but it got severe today. She did not want her parents worried and she really had no friends. It was awkward discussing with Esther who was still believing God for a baby.
She massaged her stomach repeatedly hoping that will ease the pain but it only got worse.
“Oh God! Help me.” She cried and well she heard the door open, she felt like crying for joy though she knew he will think that was an attempt to get him to hold her, she did not care what he interpreted this one to be but she just needed to get to her room and have a long sleep if it will come.
Michael came home hungry and he assumed he will perceive sweet smells as usual but not today, instead he heard deep sighs and his heart did a complete summersault. He thought she was in labor but it hit him that it was not time. That calmed him down a bit.
“Rachael what’s wrong with you.” He asked trying to be cool, he did not want to start panicking and realize it’s one of her pranks, she had played a few with him and he always fell for it thinking it was real but it appears that she magnified little things to get his attention.
“My stomach…” She cried, he took few steps towards her and saw that she was sweating and wincing, she really was in pains.
“Rachael are you okay?” Now he was scared. He went to her and tried to help her sit up but that caused her to scream out in pains, she gripped his shirt as she allowed the pain to pass.
“Jesus Rachael, what’s going on now, should I take you to the hospital?” He asked trying to get her in a comfortable position.
“No! take me to my room.” She said with gritted teeth.
“Are you sure, should I call your mum or something.”
“No, I will be fine.” She said still holding on to his shirt.
All he could do was sit and wait, he felt helpless watching her in pains, he did not want to feel what he was feeling, he started to pity her and wanted to just take all the pain away. He struggled against the urge to just pull her in for a long comforting embrace, that is what husbands do right? But he allowed himself to be used as a wall for support not as a human with emotions.
“Hmm! Jesus!!!” She said under her breath.
He scooped her in his arms and took her to her room though she was trying to resist when another cramp hit her, she was too occupied with pain to know if it was him or just anything moving her to the room.
He laid her carefully on the bed, he knew what he should do is to lay his hand and command the pain to cease but he felt powerless, he did not have the confidence and to see what she was going through caused him pain but he was finding it difficult to express himself to her.
Lord I don’t feel worthy but I know it’s not about how I feel but what you’ve done. Please can you take this pain away so she can rest? He prayed under his breath with his eyes closed. He laid his hand on the side of the stomach, she had no idea what he was doing but after some minutes, he heard her breathing evenly, her stomach was rising and falling like heartbeat, he did not know what he was missing, he wish he had the opportunity to feel that stomach as he wish but this time will be cherished. He shifted his weight carefully from the bed and left to go fix himself something to eat, he was not sure if she had eaten. It was just few minutes to eight and so she might need to eat something.
When did you start caring about if she has eaten or not? A voice in his head teased him.
“I will do that for anyone, she is in pains and needs to be cared for.” He said making up an excuse.
You love her right?
“Love, does that thing exist? Well I …Michael why are you talking to yourself now huh!” He chided himself and shut out the voice in his head got busy.
He was just cleaning up when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and faced the worried looking woman. She really has changed, she was chubbier and her nose, that was the funny part to him, her nose stood out dignified, he knew she might not like it but he thinks it’s cute.
“I am so sorry I could not cook you dinner, I really wanted to but…Rachael you are not my house help, you are my wife,” He said and allowed that to sink. They may not be acting it but that is the way it is.
“ I understand perfectly and I don’t want you standing up not after that scene, you really scared me, if this happens again which I pray does not, I will take you to the hospital. You acted like you were in labor or worse, I was confused and… I am sorry I scared you, I feel fine now. I did not know when I fell asleep.” She said cutting him shut.
“I still insist you go and lie down, you know you are carrying ….my baby” She completed for him and turned to leave.
“Rachael it’s not what you think, I only wanted you to…It’s fine, I am fine.” She said and walked back to her room wondering how in God's name they can get passed this stage.

LESSON
Charity begins at home,  if you want to lead outside, be that type of leader inside.
The heart has a mind of its own and is a natural lover. Let love lead.
Watch what you say and how you say it.

P. S.  Sorry for the delay in posting,  it was due to some unavoidable logistics. I hope to keep up the pace, that's why it's a bit longer today. Thanks for your cooperation.

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