Humbly I lie low and in my mind I wonder why things are slow
I am a seed that was sown but till now I am unknown.
I turn and there seem to be no world other than the dirt that surrounds me
I was afraid of losing myself to it and becoming one with it but the more I fought to be me, the harder it seems
Why am I like this? My skin has fallen out exposing my interior to the decay that lies around me
The harder I fought the degradation, the more I shrunk looking different from the me I knew.
"Oh I am ruined! Why must I die now?" I cried as loud as I could with the agony that engulfed my 'self'
Giving up on self seemed like I was giving up on life, the life I had fought so hard to keep.
I held on tight to the life I thought was a life little did I know it was the grip of death
I was made a spectacle in the world of the ants who moved freely around me celebrating my death and waiting to feast on my remains.
Just if I can become a beauty again, a ravishing one that all eyes beheld with awe before I was reduced to nothing by my owner.
Oh, I can't believe he wants me dead, I can't believe he hated me so much, I still can't recover from the shock of becoming a past tense with RIP smelling over me when I had nothing like peace within me.
Oh! I was dying slowly and finally when my strength failed, when I lost the will to live, when in my mind, I thought for the last time how much my owner hated me to make me go through so much pain.
Just when my haters rubbed their palms together with their wicked grin, just then I felt the coolness of life sipping from the top through my remains.
Why now, I thought, why now? I felt it was too late to save me, I had no beauty anymore, I looked nothing like my self, I had been humiliated and rubbished by ants who can't be in my class, but are acting like they own the rest of me.
I became the left over but daily, I felt the coolness of water, the life I needed sipping through, my self had died but I am not dead, even in my death, I wanted to live.
Mother had told me she had to die for her to have me, I never knew I would go through the same. I welcomed the coolness of the water, though they made fun of me, amidst the rubbish of my old self came something beautiful.
It was not me, but it became me, I started to grow into a new form, I was not comfortable hiding under, there was a force propelling me up, it was cool down here but I needed to ascend to the source of life itself.
I didn't have to push much, as I grew, there was an opening to accommodate my growth and that beautiful morning, I woke up to the sun smiling brightly at me.
Wow! I am a new creature. Something burst forth inside me, I knew I had been restored but now I am a mother.
I smiled at the seeds I bore and knew that my owner didn't hate me, he wanted me to multiply.
Except a seed falls to the ground and dies, it abides alone. You may have to go through hell and back but what didn't kill you will make you stronger. Haters will mock and discourage you but when your time to shine comes, nothing will stop you.
Rise above your difficulties, triumph in trials and give God the glory for He is that owner that has good plans for your life.
Go through your tests and pass it, you may be hidden and feel your dreams are dead and gone but there is light at the end of the tunnel, learn all your can, pray, praise, believe and breakthrough.
If you love your life, you Will lose it, if you lose it for Christ sake, you would gain it.
I know it's tough but life can always get better, don't give up, Rise and Shine!
Copyright © Radiant Pheobe 2017.
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