Sometimes you get to realize you are not who you think you grew up believing you are but then, it's not the surnames that makes you but who you are on the inside. Enjoy the expose on Siji's Life.
After finishing what seemed to be his best dinner ever that night, Ma'ami called him to sit on the bed with her. There was only one bed in the small apartment and Ma'ami slept on it, Siji would clear the room by moving the chairs back and placing the table that was in the centre of the room on one of the chairs, then get his mattress from under the bed and laid it in the space he had created for himself to sleep, then when he woke up by dawn he would fold the mattress and push it under the bed then place the table back in its position and rearrange the chairs. This night, after he had prepared his sleeping space and was about to sleep, Ma'ami called him to her side on the bed.
"You've grown into a wise and intelligent boy" she said "I think it's time you knew some things about yourself, things I have kept from you because I believed you were to young to know, now I'm convinced you've come of age, you're old enough to handle them"
"Okay Ma'ami"
"Though you call me Ma'ami, I am not your birth mother" she paused for it to sink in.
Siji was a bit shocked at what she just told him, and many questions ran through his mind. He selected the simplest of them all.
"So what are you to me Ma'ami?"
" I am your grandmother. Your biological mother was my one and only child" she paused for what seemed to be an eternity, Siji looked at her and saw that she was battling with emotions, he could see the pain in her eyes and he wanted to comfort her.
"Ma'ami, you don't have to do this now if you are not up to it, it can still wait, I can still wait"
"I will have to start from the beginning for you to fully understand, that way I'll answer most of the questions I know you must have" she continued as if he had not said anything.
"We actually come from a town called Ayedun in Ogun state. I was quite young when I married your grandfather, I can't say what my age was then as I can't say what my age is now but I was far younger than my husband. Despite the difference in age, we loved each other so much. Our only problem was my inability to conceive, my husband didn't seem to mind much but I did, so did his family. They made life so difficult for us, they wanted him to marry a second wife but he vehemently refused and stood his grounds. After staying together for many years, I began pressuring him to get another wife to at least bear him a child, because those days a man's pride were his children, men without children were not respected. After a while he succumbed just because of me and got a second wife and she immediately took in and bore him a son but this didn't reduce his love for me, in fact, it was as if it doubled it. This didn't go down well with the second wife and my in laws, consequently I faced more attacks behind his back, I became a subject of their ridicule, but I never told him.
My husband died mysteriously after some years. Up till now, I can't understand the cause of his death, but then it wasn't unusual, for people do die mysteriously those days. After his death I was kicked out of our house since I had no claim to anything because I had no child, I had no one to turn too. Luckily I had some amount stashed away. I relocated to Lagos and started the the agbo trade that I had learned from childhood. It didn't fetch me much but it sustained me. Three months after my husband's death and my relocation to Lagos I discovered I was pregnant. It came as a shock, I had thought the constant drowsiness and tiredness I was feeling were as a result of my predicament. I accepted the news with mixed feelings, it was a bittersweet feeling. I was happy that I was pregnant, that I wasn't barren after all but I was also sad because I was bringing a fatherless child into the world, I would always have this melancholic spell anytime I thought of how happy my husband would have been if he had been alive to witness it. I gave birth to a baby girl and named her Tumininu (Comfort) because I believed she had come to comfort me, and that she did.
Tumininu grew into into a lovely girl, she was so brilliant, you must have gotten that from her, she was my joy, she excelled in her academics and kept getting awards and scholarship that I don't have to spend much on her education. She soon gained admission into the university in Ibadan to study medicine. Everything was going smoothly and I thought the gods were finally smiling at me. Then Tumininu fell in love.
It was like a roller coaster, I tried cautioning her but who can talk to a girl in love? His name was Segun, and she loved him so much, from the moment I saw him, I knew there was something fishy about him but there was no way I could convince my daughter, she was so young and naive. He was much older than her and seemed to be making it big in whatever he was doing, he seemed like a perfect gentleman but I wasn't fooled, I just felt it in my guts that he wasn't for real. Tumininu and I had serious quarrels because of him, I later came to accept their relationship when I saw that it was driving a wedge between my daughter and me. I should have tried harder.
When Tumininu was in her penultimate year at the college of medicine, she took in for Segun and that was when she got to know the kind of person he was. She was hoping he would marry her since he was already a graduate and she would be through in a couple of years. She was shocked when he asked her to abort it. She refused, she insisted she was going to have the baby whether he marries her or not. You see, Tumininu just like her father was very stubborn. When Segun saw that she wasn't bulging he confessed to her that he was a married man with two children, and his wife was pregnant with their third, he couldn't risk his marriage for her. She was so devastated by his deceit that it started affecting her academics, she came home and refused to go back to school, no matter how much I tried to make her go, she claimed she had lost the zeal to study, she was inconsolable.
He came one day with money to give her and to beg her not to let his wife hear about their affair and the pregnancy, she tore the cheque and asked him to leave. That was the last time I saw him in person.
The pregnancy was a difficult one, partly because she wasn't taking good care of herself and also because she was always mourning. We couldn't go to an expensive hospital for antenatal check ups and all that. She died giving birth to you.
It was as if she had a premonition of her death, she would always ask me to promise her to name you after your father and to give you his surname, she said she knew her child is a boy and begged me to take good care of him and not to let him make mistakes that may affect his life like she did. I promised her just to make her happy, but after her death I couldn't keep all my promises.
Though I gave you his name, Olusegun, I couldn't and still can't bear calling you the name of my only child's murderer, so I made it your third name and named you after your grandfather, my husband Adesiji. You also bear your grandfather's surname Adebambi and not your father's"
"But you promised my mum to give me my father's surname"
"Yes, I did, but I later decided that since he abandoned you, it'd be wrong for you to bear his surname, that was the only promise I didn't keep. You are Adesiji Olusegun Adebambi, the son of Adebambi and no one else's"
"What is the surname?"
"What?"
"My biological father's surname?"
"I cannot remember it anymore, and what does it matter? You are an Adebambi"
he sensed she was lying but he pushed no further.
She made him promise he would continue to take his studies seriously and he did. The following day she took him to his mother's grave and he spoke to his mum, promising her that he was going to make her proud, he was going to be successful in life,he was going to take care of Ma'ami, he wouldn't let both of them down.
"You've grown into a wise and intelligent boy" she said "I think it's time you knew some things about yourself, things I have kept from you because I believed you were to young to know, now I'm convinced you've come of age, you're old enough to handle them"
"Okay Ma'ami"
"Though you call me Ma'ami, I am not your birth mother" she paused for it to sink in.
Siji was a bit shocked at what she just told him, and many questions ran through his mind. He selected the simplest of them all.
"So what are you to me Ma'ami?"
" I am your grandmother. Your biological mother was my one and only child" she paused for what seemed to be an eternity, Siji looked at her and saw that she was battling with emotions, he could see the pain in her eyes and he wanted to comfort her.
"Ma'ami, you don't have to do this now if you are not up to it, it can still wait, I can still wait"
"I will have to start from the beginning for you to fully understand, that way I'll answer most of the questions I know you must have" she continued as if he had not said anything.
"We actually come from a town called Ayedun in Ogun state. I was quite young when I married your grandfather, I can't say what my age was then as I can't say what my age is now but I was far younger than my husband. Despite the difference in age, we loved each other so much. Our only problem was my inability to conceive, my husband didn't seem to mind much but I did, so did his family. They made life so difficult for us, they wanted him to marry a second wife but he vehemently refused and stood his grounds. After staying together for many years, I began pressuring him to get another wife to at least bear him a child, because those days a man's pride were his children, men without children were not respected. After a while he succumbed just because of me and got a second wife and she immediately took in and bore him a son but this didn't reduce his love for me, in fact, it was as if it doubled it. This didn't go down well with the second wife and my in laws, consequently I faced more attacks behind his back, I became a subject of their ridicule, but I never told him.
My husband died mysteriously after some years. Up till now, I can't understand the cause of his death, but then it wasn't unusual, for people do die mysteriously those days. After his death I was kicked out of our house since I had no claim to anything because I had no child, I had no one to turn too. Luckily I had some amount stashed away. I relocated to Lagos and started the the agbo trade that I had learned from childhood. It didn't fetch me much but it sustained me. Three months after my husband's death and my relocation to Lagos I discovered I was pregnant. It came as a shock, I had thought the constant drowsiness and tiredness I was feeling were as a result of my predicament. I accepted the news with mixed feelings, it was a bittersweet feeling. I was happy that I was pregnant, that I wasn't barren after all but I was also sad because I was bringing a fatherless child into the world, I would always have this melancholic spell anytime I thought of how happy my husband would have been if he had been alive to witness it. I gave birth to a baby girl and named her Tumininu (Comfort) because I believed she had come to comfort me, and that she did.
Tumininu grew into into a lovely girl, she was so brilliant, you must have gotten that from her, she was my joy, she excelled in her academics and kept getting awards and scholarship that I don't have to spend much on her education. She soon gained admission into the university in Ibadan to study medicine. Everything was going smoothly and I thought the gods were finally smiling at me. Then Tumininu fell in love.
It was like a roller coaster, I tried cautioning her but who can talk to a girl in love? His name was Segun, and she loved him so much, from the moment I saw him, I knew there was something fishy about him but there was no way I could convince my daughter, she was so young and naive. He was much older than her and seemed to be making it big in whatever he was doing, he seemed like a perfect gentleman but I wasn't fooled, I just felt it in my guts that he wasn't for real. Tumininu and I had serious quarrels because of him, I later came to accept their relationship when I saw that it was driving a wedge between my daughter and me. I should have tried harder.
When Tumininu was in her penultimate year at the college of medicine, she took in for Segun and that was when she got to know the kind of person he was. She was hoping he would marry her since he was already a graduate and she would be through in a couple of years. She was shocked when he asked her to abort it. She refused, she insisted she was going to have the baby whether he marries her or not. You see, Tumininu just like her father was very stubborn. When Segun saw that she wasn't bulging he confessed to her that he was a married man with two children, and his wife was pregnant with their third, he couldn't risk his marriage for her. She was so devastated by his deceit that it started affecting her academics, she came home and refused to go back to school, no matter how much I tried to make her go, she claimed she had lost the zeal to study, she was inconsolable.
He came one day with money to give her and to beg her not to let his wife hear about their affair and the pregnancy, she tore the cheque and asked him to leave. That was the last time I saw him in person.
The pregnancy was a difficult one, partly because she wasn't taking good care of herself and also because she was always mourning. We couldn't go to an expensive hospital for antenatal check ups and all that. She died giving birth to you.
It was as if she had a premonition of her death, she would always ask me to promise her to name you after your father and to give you his surname, she said she knew her child is a boy and begged me to take good care of him and not to let him make mistakes that may affect his life like she did. I promised her just to make her happy, but after her death I couldn't keep all my promises.
Though I gave you his name, Olusegun, I couldn't and still can't bear calling you the name of my only child's murderer, so I made it your third name and named you after your grandfather, my husband Adesiji. You also bear your grandfather's surname Adebambi and not your father's"
"But you promised my mum to give me my father's surname"
"Yes, I did, but I later decided that since he abandoned you, it'd be wrong for you to bear his surname, that was the only promise I didn't keep. You are Adesiji Olusegun Adebambi, the son of Adebambi and no one else's"
"What is the surname?"
"What?"
"My biological father's surname?"
"I cannot remember it anymore, and what does it matter? You are an Adebambi"
he sensed she was lying but he pushed no further.
She made him promise he would continue to take his studies seriously and he did. The following day she took him to his mother's grave and he spoke to his mum, promising her that he was going to make her proud, he was going to be successful in life,he was going to take care of Ma'ami, he wouldn't let both of them down.
About the Author
Soji Adeola Ayanleke was born about 3 decades ago in Kano.
He studied Electronic and Electrical Engineering at the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, he speaks Yoruba and Hausa fluently and he is trying to learn Igbo and Spanish. His hobbies are reading, writing and playing some indoor games.
He studied Electronic and Electrical Engineering at the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, he speaks Yoruba and Hausa fluently and he is trying to learn Igbo and Spanish. His hobbies are reading, writing and playing some indoor games.
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