Teju hurry up, we are running late." Ese whined for the umpteenth time that morning. They really were late. It was an 8 o'clock class and it was already 10 minutes past 8 o'clock.
"Don't worry too much Ese." Teju said "lecturers are meant to come late to classes, especially their first class in the semester."
"I don't know where you got that from Teju, but even if it's true, I don't plan to start out as a late comer. This is my very first class in this school and I don't want to start on a wrong foot. It's like setting a wrong precedence."
"It's my first class too Ese, I'm just not as sentimental about it as you seem to be"
"Now I'm sentimental right?" Ese hissed. "I shouldn't have waited for you"
"But you are." Teju said and took her eyes from the mirror just long enough to smile up at her friend, then she resumed applying the mascara.
Ese was trying desperately to be angry at her friend but she was failing woefully "You are so impossible." she said pouting, just to stop herself from smiling back. Truth be told, she was being unfair for laying all the blame on Teju. Their lateness was due to several factors. They had both woken up late that morning, though it would have been early if they weren't sharing three bathrooms with about three dozens females. What Ese saw when she had staggered to the bathroom to ease herself after she woke up by 6:30am had taken her aback. She had seen several girls in various degrees of undress queueing with their buckets filled with water to take their bath. She had rushed back to the room to wake Teju up and they had both taken their bucket to the tap to get water. They had met another queue at the tap. It had taken them about thirty minutes to get water and about 45 minutes to get into the bathroom.
"But Teju, what happened this morning?" I mean I have been here a week but this queues are new to me"
"It's because, my dear, those other days you've spent here were not lecture days, so most students had no need to take their bath early and rush out, hence the traffic was light. Some normally wait till afternoon or even the night to take their bath."
"Oh! We never thought of that"
"Actually I did, but we came back so late from old buka last night"
"Because you took me to a woman who had her hands full. I had to queue to plait my hair too. What's with this school and queues?"
"She had her hands full because she is the best, and it was worth the wait, the patewo becomes you. It brings out your beauty and it's a plus that you have a naturally long hair" Teju said as she stood, picked her bag and they started leaving the room.
"Patewo? Whatever that means?"
"It literally means 'clap your hands' and that's to describe the way it looks from behind, the way the braids from either side of your head meet each other at the centre. I knew it'd be good on you. You should be thanking me for picking it for you"
"Ese" Ese said in a deeply accented Yoruba
Teju smile and said "you only say 'ese' to strangers or those older than you not to a friend and an equal. You are to say 'ose'"
"Thanks, I am sure I'll be fluent by the time we are in our finals"
"Maybe, it all depends on your interest and how often it's spoken around you"
"Of course, with the way everyone here is speaking it, I have no choice but to learn"
"Yea right. We should get okadas, we can't afford to walk to amphi when we are this late.
They hailed two bike men when they got outside, mounted and were taken to their first lecture as undergrads.
"Don't worry too much Ese." Teju said "lecturers are meant to come late to classes, especially their first class in the semester."
"I don't know where you got that from Teju, but even if it's true, I don't plan to start out as a late comer. This is my very first class in this school and I don't want to start on a wrong foot. It's like setting a wrong precedence."
"It's my first class too Ese, I'm just not as sentimental about it as you seem to be"
"Now I'm sentimental right?" Ese hissed. "I shouldn't have waited for you"
"But you are." Teju said and took her eyes from the mirror just long enough to smile up at her friend, then she resumed applying the mascara.
Ese was trying desperately to be angry at her friend but she was failing woefully "You are so impossible." she said pouting, just to stop herself from smiling back. Truth be told, she was being unfair for laying all the blame on Teju. Their lateness was due to several factors. They had both woken up late that morning, though it would have been early if they weren't sharing three bathrooms with about three dozens females. What Ese saw when she had staggered to the bathroom to ease herself after she woke up by 6:30am had taken her aback. She had seen several girls in various degrees of undress queueing with their buckets filled with water to take their bath. She had rushed back to the room to wake Teju up and they had both taken their bucket to the tap to get water. They had met another queue at the tap. It had taken them about thirty minutes to get water and about 45 minutes to get into the bathroom.
"But Teju, what happened this morning?" I mean I have been here a week but this queues are new to me"
"It's because, my dear, those other days you've spent here were not lecture days, so most students had no need to take their bath early and rush out, hence the traffic was light. Some normally wait till afternoon or even the night to take their bath."
"Oh! We never thought of that"
"Actually I did, but we came back so late from old buka last night"
"Because you took me to a woman who had her hands full. I had to queue to plait my hair too. What's with this school and queues?"
"She had her hands full because she is the best, and it was worth the wait, the patewo becomes you. It brings out your beauty and it's a plus that you have a naturally long hair" Teju said as she stood, picked her bag and they started leaving the room.
"Patewo? Whatever that means?"
"It literally means 'clap your hands' and that's to describe the way it looks from behind, the way the braids from either side of your head meet each other at the centre. I knew it'd be good on you. You should be thanking me for picking it for you"
"Ese" Ese said in a deeply accented Yoruba
Teju smile and said "you only say 'ese' to strangers or those older than you not to a friend and an equal. You are to say 'ose'"
"Thanks, I am sure I'll be fluent by the time we are in our finals"
"Maybe, it all depends on your interest and how often it's spoken around you"
"Of course, with the way everyone here is speaking it, I have no choice but to learn"
"Yea right. We should get okadas, we can't afford to walk to amphi when we are this late.
They hailed two bike men when they got outside, mounted and were taken to their first lecture as undergrads.
****************
It was PHL 101, first year, first semester philosophy class, it was the largest class in school, with five faculties offering it. Because of the size of the class, the venue used was the amphitheatre. When Ese and Teju dropped from the bikes they could hear a male voice over a sound system that was coming from the theatre. They could hear him loud and clear as they paid their fare and rushed inside.
"...............understood as the history of human thought, philosophy relates to the beginning of nearly every other major academic discipline - from physics to psychology, from religious studies to biology, and so on. Not only does philosophy force us to think hard about difficult and fundamental questions, it
also teaches us how to think............."
As they entered , Ese saw that the theatre was half filled with students paying rapt attention to a middle-aged man on the podium. He stood behind a table and held a wireless microphone in his hand. His voice was amplified by the two speakers mounted on tripod stands at either side of the podium. No one seemed to notice the two friends as they walked up the stairs of the theatre to go seat at the back.
The lecturer was saying "......now let's talk a little about argument.................. the reasons offered within the argument are called 'premises', and the proposition that the premises are offered for is called the 'conclusion'..........."
Ese was walking so fast in order to find a seat before they start drawing attention to themselves, but Teju wasn't fast enough.
"Hold on Ese, we are here already, no need to run" she whispered jokingly
"I am not running, I just want to get a seat before we are noticed and if you keep shouting like that we would be" Ese whispered back
"I am not shouting Ese, I know you blame me for our lateness, but we've made it this............"
"Excuse me ladies, will you both please come down here to the front?" The amplified voice cut Teju at mid-sentence . Both ladies turned and saw that he was talking to them.
The lecturer had stopped talking to shuffle through the book on the table in front of him while Teju was talking, and albeit she wasn't making that much noise, the loudspeakers that had been helping to drown her voice were momentarily on break. Hence her voice had been loud enough to draw his attention and that of several students. He stretched forth his arms to beckon on them "Common ladies, we are waiting for you, and we don't have all day"
Ese wished she had some juju that could make her disappear as hundreds pairs of eyes were fixed on them both as they walked down the aisle towards the podium. Surprisingly, the lecturer was smiling at them. Ese had thought he was annoyed.
"Okay ladies, will you please face the class and tells us your names" he said as he gave the microphone to Teju first. Ese could swear Teju was having fun as she watched her collect the mic from him and said.
"Tejumola Ogedengbe"
-well, if she can do it, I can do it too- Ese collected the mic, faced the hundreds pairs of eyes with more courage than she felt and said her name too
"Ese Osaruwense" then gave the mic to the lecturer
"Both of you are obviously friends, right?" They both nodded
"And you stay together on campus?" They nodded again
"Perfect. So class, I am going to use Teju and Ese here as examples for you to further drive home my points. I will have private discussions with them separately for just a couple of minutes" he said. Then he took Teju to one corner of the theatre and spoke with her for about two minutes. Ese wondered what they talked about when she saw her friend smiling as he brought her back. She soon found out what it was all about when he took her to the same corner and talked to her for about two minutes too. He placed them side by side then addressed the class again
"Teju here, a student of International Relations and Ese a student of Economics are close friends and bunk mates. When I asked Teju why she thinks her friend blames her for their coming late to class, she said it's because she woke up late and later spent too much time in front of the mirror making up" there was a roar of laughter from the class, he continued "and when I asked her why she woke late, she said it was because they both were at old buka till 11pm last night, she took her friend Ese, there to make this hair" he pointed to Ese's hair as he said that and the class laughed again. Ese looked up and saw some students writing furiously and she wondered what was there to write about the lecturer's narrative.
"I then asked Ese why they were late and she said it was due to the long queues at the water tap and at the bathroom, when I asked why she blames her friend for their lateness, she said she only blamed her because she thinks that even though they still would have been late, they would not have been this late had Teju not spent too much time in front of the mirror." After the third roar had subsided, he said
"I see you enjoyed their story, now this is what you will all do. Teju and Ese obviously have an argument about the reasons for their lateness, so I want you to write two foolscap sheets full analysis of the argument, listing out your premises and clearly stating your conclusion. You are to submit it here on Wednesday, before class starts. See you all on Wednesday." he said as he walked out of the theatre. There was an uproar as many of the clueless students started asking one another questions, some rushed down to meet the equally confused Ese and Teju to narrate to them exactly what they told the lecturer.
After repeating herself for what seem to be the tenth time, Ese was free. She saw Teju with Funke some feet away from her and walked up to them
"That was an experience I won't forget in a hurry" Teju said as Ese got to them
"Yea, an experience it was, and an avoidable experience at that" Ese said
"I know my dear, but I made us both into stars" Teju joked and the three of them laughed.
"I rather not be a star" Ese said in between giggles, then turned to Funke "how come you made it early to class, with the queues I mean"
"I got my water last night and hid it under my bunk. I took my bath early this morning at the corridor"
"And you weren't scared someone would........"
"It was early nah, before dawn. I went back to bed afterwards, I only dressed up when I woke up at daybreak"
"But why take your bath on the corridor when you woke that early? you could have used the bathroom" said Teju
"I don't like the bathroom"
"Will you please put us through what was taught in the class?" Ese asked her "I don't know what he meant about 'premise' and conclusion'"
"Don't worry, when we get to the room later in the day, I jotted everything down, he also recommended some textbooks for the course. My jottings and any of the textbook should help. I have a class now, see you guys later" she said as she rushed off.
"...............understood as the history of human thought, philosophy relates to the beginning of nearly every other major academic discipline - from physics to psychology, from religious studies to biology, and so on. Not only does philosophy force us to think hard about difficult and fundamental questions, it
also teaches us how to think............."
As they entered , Ese saw that the theatre was half filled with students paying rapt attention to a middle-aged man on the podium. He stood behind a table and held a wireless microphone in his hand. His voice was amplified by the two speakers mounted on tripod stands at either side of the podium. No one seemed to notice the two friends as they walked up the stairs of the theatre to go seat at the back.
The lecturer was saying "......now let's talk a little about argument.................. the reasons offered within the argument are called 'premises', and the proposition that the premises are offered for is called the 'conclusion'..........."
Ese was walking so fast in order to find a seat before they start drawing attention to themselves, but Teju wasn't fast enough.
"Hold on Ese, we are here already, no need to run" she whispered jokingly
"I am not running, I just want to get a seat before we are noticed and if you keep shouting like that we would be" Ese whispered back
"I am not shouting Ese, I know you blame me for our lateness, but we've made it this............"
"Excuse me ladies, will you both please come down here to the front?" The amplified voice cut Teju at mid-sentence . Both ladies turned and saw that he was talking to them.
The lecturer had stopped talking to shuffle through the book on the table in front of him while Teju was talking, and albeit she wasn't making that much noise, the loudspeakers that had been helping to drown her voice were momentarily on break. Hence her voice had been loud enough to draw his attention and that of several students. He stretched forth his arms to beckon on them "Common ladies, we are waiting for you, and we don't have all day"
Ese wished she had some juju that could make her disappear as hundreds pairs of eyes were fixed on them both as they walked down the aisle towards the podium. Surprisingly, the lecturer was smiling at them. Ese had thought he was annoyed.
"Okay ladies, will you please face the class and tells us your names" he said as he gave the microphone to Teju first. Ese could swear Teju was having fun as she watched her collect the mic from him and said.
"Tejumola Ogedengbe"
-well, if she can do it, I can do it too- Ese collected the mic, faced the hundreds pairs of eyes with more courage than she felt and said her name too
"Ese Osaruwense" then gave the mic to the lecturer
"Both of you are obviously friends, right?" They both nodded
"And you stay together on campus?" They nodded again
"Perfect. So class, I am going to use Teju and Ese here as examples for you to further drive home my points. I will have private discussions with them separately for just a couple of minutes" he said. Then he took Teju to one corner of the theatre and spoke with her for about two minutes. Ese wondered what they talked about when she saw her friend smiling as he brought her back. She soon found out what it was all about when he took her to the same corner and talked to her for about two minutes too. He placed them side by side then addressed the class again
"Teju here, a student of International Relations and Ese a student of Economics are close friends and bunk mates. When I asked Teju why she thinks her friend blames her for their coming late to class, she said it's because she woke up late and later spent too much time in front of the mirror making up" there was a roar of laughter from the class, he continued "and when I asked her why she woke late, she said it was because they both were at old buka till 11pm last night, she took her friend Ese, there to make this hair" he pointed to Ese's hair as he said that and the class laughed again. Ese looked up and saw some students writing furiously and she wondered what was there to write about the lecturer's narrative.
"I then asked Ese why they were late and she said it was due to the long queues at the water tap and at the bathroom, when I asked why she blames her friend for their lateness, she said she only blamed her because she thinks that even though they still would have been late, they would not have been this late had Teju not spent too much time in front of the mirror." After the third roar had subsided, he said
"I see you enjoyed their story, now this is what you will all do. Teju and Ese obviously have an argument about the reasons for their lateness, so I want you to write two foolscap sheets full analysis of the argument, listing out your premises and clearly stating your conclusion. You are to submit it here on Wednesday, before class starts. See you all on Wednesday." he said as he walked out of the theatre. There was an uproar as many of the clueless students started asking one another questions, some rushed down to meet the equally confused Ese and Teju to narrate to them exactly what they told the lecturer.
After repeating herself for what seem to be the tenth time, Ese was free. She saw Teju with Funke some feet away from her and walked up to them
"That was an experience I won't forget in a hurry" Teju said as Ese got to them
"Yea, an experience it was, and an avoidable experience at that" Ese said
"I know my dear, but I made us both into stars" Teju joked and the three of them laughed.
"I rather not be a star" Ese said in between giggles, then turned to Funke "how come you made it early to class, with the queues I mean"
"I got my water last night and hid it under my bunk. I took my bath early this morning at the corridor"
"And you weren't scared someone would........"
"It was early nah, before dawn. I went back to bed afterwards, I only dressed up when I woke up at daybreak"
"But why take your bath on the corridor when you woke that early? you could have used the bathroom" said Teju
"I don't like the bathroom"
"Will you please put us through what was taught in the class?" Ese asked her "I don't know what he meant about 'premise' and conclusion'"
"Don't worry, when we get to the room later in the day, I jotted everything down, he also recommended some textbooks for the course. My jottings and any of the textbook should help. I have a class now, see you guys later" she said as she rushed off.
***************
"Now get a sheet of paper and write your department and matriculation number on it. And solve the questions on the board, you have five minutes." Said the lecturer.
It was MEE 205, Mechanical Engineering Statics class.
---it's the first class and he is already giving us a quiz--- Siji thought as he tore 2 sheets from his book. Lecturers in his faculty are fond of giving impromptu quizzes. They use them as attendance most of the time and mark them some of the time. Such short quizzes most often than not are the difference between an A grade and a B grade or an E and an outright failure, hence students in the faculty took them seriously. Pago was not in class, so Siji decided to write for him. Even if the lecturer had the time to peruse and check for similar handwritings, they can still defend it because they had almost similar handwriting. The only difference is the size of the letters, Siji's was slightly bigger so all he needed to do was reduce the size of the letters when writing for Pago. He finished his own in two minutes then started writing on the other sheet, he knew Pago's details by heart. Due to the similarity in their surnames, their matriculation numbers were almost the same but for the last digits. Siji had 3 as his last digit while Pago last digit was 8. He was through in another two minutes and had a minute left.
"Now, pass your sheets to the person in front of you" the lecturer said when the time given had elapsed. He collected the sheets from the students in the front row, arranged them and walked out of the class.
Siji met Pago outside the theatre.
"Oh! I see you are quite early for the lecture." he said sarcastically
"It's not like that, I got the time and venue mixed up. I didn't know it was Ajose lecture theatre, I had been in HSLT C since 10 o'clock, it was when I had waited there for about 30 or so minutes that I realised I got it all wrong. I will need to copy the timetable from you, the one with me is wrong."
"No problem, it was a two-hour class, 9-11, we had a quiz even. I did yours for you"
"Oh! Thanks man, you are the best." Pago said as he gave Siji a hug "so when is our next class?"
"12 noon, MTH 201, ODLT 1. We still have an hour."
"Good, let's go get something to eat, I am starving, I haven't had breakfast yet"
"Ditto"
"Let's go then"
They both walked towards his car.
It was MEE 205, Mechanical Engineering Statics class.
---it's the first class and he is already giving us a quiz--- Siji thought as he tore 2 sheets from his book. Lecturers in his faculty are fond of giving impromptu quizzes. They use them as attendance most of the time and mark them some of the time. Such short quizzes most often than not are the difference between an A grade and a B grade or an E and an outright failure, hence students in the faculty took them seriously. Pago was not in class, so Siji decided to write for him. Even if the lecturer had the time to peruse and check for similar handwritings, they can still defend it because they had almost similar handwriting. The only difference is the size of the letters, Siji's was slightly bigger so all he needed to do was reduce the size of the letters when writing for Pago. He finished his own in two minutes then started writing on the other sheet, he knew Pago's details by heart. Due to the similarity in their surnames, their matriculation numbers were almost the same but for the last digits. Siji had 3 as his last digit while Pago last digit was 8. He was through in another two minutes and had a minute left.
"Now, pass your sheets to the person in front of you" the lecturer said when the time given had elapsed. He collected the sheets from the students in the front row, arranged them and walked out of the class.
Siji met Pago outside the theatre.
"Oh! I see you are quite early for the lecture." he said sarcastically
"It's not like that, I got the time and venue mixed up. I didn't know it was Ajose lecture theatre, I had been in HSLT C since 10 o'clock, it was when I had waited there for about 30 or so minutes that I realised I got it all wrong. I will need to copy the timetable from you, the one with me is wrong."
"No problem, it was a two-hour class, 9-11, we had a quiz even. I did yours for you"
"Oh! Thanks man, you are the best." Pago said as he gave Siji a hug "so when is our next class?"
"12 noon, MTH 201, ODLT 1. We still have an hour."
"Good, let's go get something to eat, I am starving, I haven't had breakfast yet"
"Ditto"
"Let's go then"
They both walked towards his car.
About the Author.
Soji Adeola Ayanleke was born about 3 decades ago in Kano.
He studied Electronic and Electrical Engineering at the Obafemi Awolowo
University, Ile-Ife, he speaks Yoruba and Hausa fluently and he is
trying to learn Igbo and Spanish. His hobbies are reading, writing and
playing some indoor games.
No comments:
Post a Comment