By the time Siji got to Ife, it was already raining heavily, he thought about dropping at the bus station in Lagere, but that would be an added stress, and since he was travelling light, he decided to drop at the campus gate, as soon as he was dropped, he dashed for the shade provided by the pedestrian bridge across the highway. It wasn’t much of a cover from the rain that seemed to be annoyed at him, but it was better than nothing. It was windy also, so he was still being hit by raindrops and he was getting soaked. There was no space for him to move inwards, at least to the middle of the shade. The space was occupied by a table with two chairs on it; they were obviously for the mallam who sold suya in front of the school. He would pack his stuffs there every night after closing for the day, and then come back for them every evening. Siji looked closely and found a space just behind the table, he climbed the table to get to the space, then he borrowed one of the mallam’s chairs and sat down, it was quite cozy yet big enough for him to move. Just beside him droplets of water were dropping from the leaking bridge. He got preoccupied by the droplets and started counting them as they drop, 1, 2,3… he notice there was a drop in every two seconds. ‘If we have one droplet in two seconds, how many droplets will there be in a day?’ he asked himself and started doing the math in his head, he loved calculations so much, little wonder he landed in engineering. He got his answer in no time and smiled to himself “I must be going nuts, I’m here seated under a bridge calculating raindrops” he said out loud. He stretched his hand to the catch the droplets “stop it, don’t you know that catching raindrops will turn you into a leper” it was Ma’ami ‘s voice in his ears and it was so audible as if she were there with him, such was the influence she had over him, she could always reach him, no matter the distance between them. Pago always made jest of him anytime he mentioned Ma’ami. No one would have thought him and Pago would be close buddies, saying they were different would be an understatement; they were complete opposites, the only things they had in common were their brilliance and looks. They had the same body structure and same height; one could always be mistaken for the other, especially if they were viewed from behind. Both of them never did believe they look alike as people around them claimed. When asked about how much they looked alike, Siji would answer with one of Ma’ami’s superstitions “We all came to this world in twos, my lookalike just happened to be in the same country as me” and when asked about how they could be this close despite the difference in character, he would simply say “Unlike charges attract, like charges repel, it’s the law of nature”. Their meeting was just a matter of time since they were in the same department, though the class was huge and one may not know all of one’s classmates by name.
Thinking back now, their meeting had been somewhat dramatic. It was at the Department of Mathematics, and they were at the MTH 101 tutorial class waiting for their tutorial master, a middle-aged Dr. who reads out maths instead of solving it. And as usual he was late for the class. Siji was seated at one corner of the class reading a novel written by David Badalci, “Saving Faith” he was really trying to concentrate on what he was reading, but the noise from a group of students at the other end of the class was distracting him, they were talking about politics.
“No one would have thought Abacha would have died when he did” shouted one of them, a sturdy guy with round beautiful face
“and Abiola too” interjected another.
“Ya’ll know nothing” said the one that seemed to be the leader of the group “their deaths wasn’t a coincidence, it was all planned and executed by the West, they both have overstayed their usefulness to the oyinbos, so they were assassinated” “and you learnt about this from your dad I guess” said the sturdy dude”
”No, I was told by one of my dad’s business associate who is also into politics, you know, these men….. my dad’s friends I mean…. are like my friends too, they talk to me as though we were equals, I even knew about the plan to make Obasanjo the president right from the outset.” he boasted and everyone in the group looked at him as if he was some demigod and this spurred him on to continue “you see, Abiola was a kingmaker, he helped Shagari against Awolowo to be president, that was how powerful he was, but he seemed to forget the rule of the game so easily” he paused here looking at all of them as they in turn looked at him expectantly for him to tell them the rule that only him seemed to know, then he said “A kingmaker should never aspire to be a king. That would be his downfall” they all nodded seeming to agree with him “Abiola thought he could eat his cake and have it, but it’s not done in politics.”
“Have his cake and eat it.”
The rude interruption was from somewhere outside the group and everyone in the group turned towards the voice. Siji cursed under his breath when about half a dozen eyes turned to look at him. He couldn’t fathom why he interrupted their discussion just because of a simple error in expression, an error that had become so widely accepted in his part of the world that only very few knew that it was an error. Maybe it was because he was pissed that they were disturbing his reading or maybe he just wanted to burst the boasting guy’s balloon. But one thing he was sure of, he hated the attention he had drawn to himself, other students were looking too, not just those in the group.
“Excuse me! What did you say?” it was the boaster,
-just keep quiet don’t reply him, it’d all pass- an inner voice said
“were you saying something? Do you have a contrary opinion? Please spit it out, don’t be a sissy”
-ok, the only way to get away from this is to meet it head-on-
“You don’t eat your cake and have it, you have your cake and eat it” everyone was looking at him with the what-the-hell-are-you-saying expression on their faces so he went further “I’m simply saying you got that expression wrong, it should be “have his cake and eat it” not the other way round”
the boaster busted out laughing ”wow! Can you hear yourself? Does that even make any sense to you?”
“it may not make any sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it is a common mistake that most Nigerians make, I just felt I should point it out to you, no one is claiming to be an authority in the English language here”
“what school did you finish from?”
“Bariga Boys High School, but I don’t see how it has anything to do with our argument……..”
“A public school” interrupted the boaster ”well, I may not be an “authority” as you put it, but I went to a very expensive school where English is taught well, not some public school in the middle of God-knows-where where Yoruba is used to teach mathematics, so I would have known before now if the expression were wrong”
Siji couldn’t stop himself from smiling
“in that case I think your English teacher back in school should be hanged for collecting huge sum of money for teaching you bad English, ……sorry bro, your papa was swindled”
Everyone listening busted out in laughter, and Siji knew he had went too far when the boaster’s eye turned red
”alright alright let’s just check it out in the dictionary, anyone with a dictionary here?” said Mr sturdy
”it’s an engineering class dude, who needs a dictionary?” interjected the boaster
“Are you scared you may be wrong Pago?” Mr sturdy asked smiling
“get off it Kalu, I know I am right, I’m just saving you the stress by stating the obvious in case your thick brain hasn’t registered it”
“Oh! Someone is sounding pissed right now.” Kalu retorted
Just then the tutorial master walked in and there was a hush.
“Good afternoon students, let’s all take out our tutorial booklets, if you don’t have yours please excuse us” the Dr said without look up from the book in his hands. Siji watched Kalu carefully and almost unobtrusively walked out of the class. “how far have we gone with the tutorial, what page are we?”
“L'Hospital’s rule, page 23” someone said. “Alright then” replied the Dr as he shuffles the leaves of the book in his hand. When he got to the page he was looking for, he started reading without looking up
“when solving indeterminate limits using the rule of L'Hospital, you are to differentiate both the numerator and the denominator of the fraction. Some people confuse it with Quotient rule, but they are very different, for example, if we have the square of x minus 2 multiplied by the cube of x as our numerator and at the denominator we have……………” he continued reading as half the class dosed off for the remaining 30 minutes the tutorial would last, Siji placed his David Badalci in between his booklet and continued reading.
After the class, Siji met a smiling Kalu outside the class with a big Oxford Advance Learners dictionary in his hand. He smiled at Siji and said
“dude, you were right, Pago was wrong” “Where did you get the dico from?”
“Faj, I had to run to the hall while you guys were in there”
“Why didn’t you have the MTH 101 tutorial booklet? I saw you walked out of the class”
“Because I don’t need it, I don’t offer the course”
“But…but … how come?”
“I am not even an Engineering student; I was just there for my guy Pago. Talking about the devil, here he is’’ Kalu said just as Pago and the others in the group walked towards them.
Holding the dictionary up he said aloud though with affection “Pago, I’m so glad someone could burst your bubble today. You were wrong about the cake eating expression. Isn’t it funny? The Almighty Adepago Adebantu was wrong for a change."
Pago took the dictionary from Kalu and looked at it, and then raised his head, smiled at Siji and said “I guess you are right, I’m sorry for what I said about your school”
Siji smiled back and said “I’m also sorry for what I said about your Father and English Teacher”
“Don’t worry; neither of them is in my good books at the moment. I am Adepago Adebantu but you call me Pago. What’s your name?” He offered his hand
“Adesiji Adebambi, you can call me Siji” then shook the offered hand while asking “the same Adebantu?”
“The very same” replied Kalu “He is the son of the popular business magnate. And I am Kalu Okafor, his close friend. Actually, my dad is his family’s doctor and to answer your earlier question fully, I am studying Medicine, and you can call me Kalu” he said, smiling.
“You talk too much Kalu” an obviously irritated Pago said.
Thinking back now, their meeting had been somewhat dramatic. It was at the Department of Mathematics, and they were at the MTH 101 tutorial class waiting for their tutorial master, a middle-aged Dr. who reads out maths instead of solving it. And as usual he was late for the class. Siji was seated at one corner of the class reading a novel written by David Badalci, “Saving Faith” he was really trying to concentrate on what he was reading, but the noise from a group of students at the other end of the class was distracting him, they were talking about politics.
“No one would have thought Abacha would have died when he did” shouted one of them, a sturdy guy with round beautiful face
“and Abiola too” interjected another.
“Ya’ll know nothing” said the one that seemed to be the leader of the group “their deaths wasn’t a coincidence, it was all planned and executed by the West, they both have overstayed their usefulness to the oyinbos, so they were assassinated” “and you learnt about this from your dad I guess” said the sturdy dude”
”No, I was told by one of my dad’s business associate who is also into politics, you know, these men….. my dad’s friends I mean…. are like my friends too, they talk to me as though we were equals, I even knew about the plan to make Obasanjo the president right from the outset.” he boasted and everyone in the group looked at him as if he was some demigod and this spurred him on to continue “you see, Abiola was a kingmaker, he helped Shagari against Awolowo to be president, that was how powerful he was, but he seemed to forget the rule of the game so easily” he paused here looking at all of them as they in turn looked at him expectantly for him to tell them the rule that only him seemed to know, then he said “A kingmaker should never aspire to be a king. That would be his downfall” they all nodded seeming to agree with him “Abiola thought he could eat his cake and have it, but it’s not done in politics.”
“Have his cake and eat it.”
The rude interruption was from somewhere outside the group and everyone in the group turned towards the voice. Siji cursed under his breath when about half a dozen eyes turned to look at him. He couldn’t fathom why he interrupted their discussion just because of a simple error in expression, an error that had become so widely accepted in his part of the world that only very few knew that it was an error. Maybe it was because he was pissed that they were disturbing his reading or maybe he just wanted to burst the boasting guy’s balloon. But one thing he was sure of, he hated the attention he had drawn to himself, other students were looking too, not just those in the group.
“Excuse me! What did you say?” it was the boaster,
-just keep quiet don’t reply him, it’d all pass- an inner voice said
“were you saying something? Do you have a contrary opinion? Please spit it out, don’t be a sissy”
-ok, the only way to get away from this is to meet it head-on-
“You don’t eat your cake and have it, you have your cake and eat it” everyone was looking at him with the what-the-hell-are-you-saying expression on their faces so he went further “I’m simply saying you got that expression wrong, it should be “have his cake and eat it” not the other way round”
the boaster busted out laughing ”wow! Can you hear yourself? Does that even make any sense to you?”
“it may not make any sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it is a common mistake that most Nigerians make, I just felt I should point it out to you, no one is claiming to be an authority in the English language here”
“what school did you finish from?”
“Bariga Boys High School, but I don’t see how it has anything to do with our argument……..”
“A public school” interrupted the boaster ”well, I may not be an “authority” as you put it, but I went to a very expensive school where English is taught well, not some public school in the middle of God-knows-where where Yoruba is used to teach mathematics, so I would have known before now if the expression were wrong”
Siji couldn’t stop himself from smiling
“in that case I think your English teacher back in school should be hanged for collecting huge sum of money for teaching you bad English, ……sorry bro, your papa was swindled”
Everyone listening busted out in laughter, and Siji knew he had went too far when the boaster’s eye turned red
”alright alright let’s just check it out in the dictionary, anyone with a dictionary here?” said Mr sturdy
”it’s an engineering class dude, who needs a dictionary?” interjected the boaster
“Are you scared you may be wrong Pago?” Mr sturdy asked smiling
“get off it Kalu, I know I am right, I’m just saving you the stress by stating the obvious in case your thick brain hasn’t registered it”
“Oh! Someone is sounding pissed right now.” Kalu retorted
Just then the tutorial master walked in and there was a hush.
“Good afternoon students, let’s all take out our tutorial booklets, if you don’t have yours please excuse us” the Dr said without look up from the book in his hands. Siji watched Kalu carefully and almost unobtrusively walked out of the class. “how far have we gone with the tutorial, what page are we?”
“L'Hospital’s rule, page 23” someone said. “Alright then” replied the Dr as he shuffles the leaves of the book in his hand. When he got to the page he was looking for, he started reading without looking up
“when solving indeterminate limits using the rule of L'Hospital, you are to differentiate both the numerator and the denominator of the fraction. Some people confuse it with Quotient rule, but they are very different, for example, if we have the square of x minus 2 multiplied by the cube of x as our numerator and at the denominator we have……………” he continued reading as half the class dosed off for the remaining 30 minutes the tutorial would last, Siji placed his David Badalci in between his booklet and continued reading.
After the class, Siji met a smiling Kalu outside the class with a big Oxford Advance Learners dictionary in his hand. He smiled at Siji and said
“dude, you were right, Pago was wrong” “Where did you get the dico from?”
“Faj, I had to run to the hall while you guys were in there”
“Why didn’t you have the MTH 101 tutorial booklet? I saw you walked out of the class”
“Because I don’t need it, I don’t offer the course”
“But…but … how come?”
“I am not even an Engineering student; I was just there for my guy Pago. Talking about the devil, here he is’’ Kalu said just as Pago and the others in the group walked towards them.
Holding the dictionary up he said aloud though with affection “Pago, I’m so glad someone could burst your bubble today. You were wrong about the cake eating expression. Isn’t it funny? The Almighty Adepago Adebantu was wrong for a change."
Pago took the dictionary from Kalu and looked at it, and then raised his head, smiled at Siji and said “I guess you are right, I’m sorry for what I said about your school”
Siji smiled back and said “I’m also sorry for what I said about your Father and English Teacher”
“Don’t worry; neither of them is in my good books at the moment. I am Adepago Adebantu but you call me Pago. What’s your name?” He offered his hand
“Adesiji Adebambi, you can call me Siji” then shook the offered hand while asking “the same Adebantu?”
“The very same” replied Kalu “He is the son of the popular business magnate. And I am Kalu Okafor, his close friend. Actually, my dad is his family’s doctor and to answer your earlier question fully, I am studying Medicine, and you can call me Kalu” he said, smiling.
“You talk too much Kalu” an obviously irritated Pago said.
About the author.
Soji Adeola Ayanleke was born about 3 decades ago in Kano.
He studied Electronic and Electrical Engineering at the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, he speaks Yoruba and Hausa fluently and he is trying to learn Igbo and Spanish. His hobbies are reading, writing and playing some indoor games.
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